the thing to the left is weird
just a helpful epistemological tip

from: Angels have wings, but I've got legs by Rhonda Weir
source: The News Letter (Belfast, Northern Ireland), 13 August 2004
via: HighBeam™ Research

...the hair removal company Nair has revealed that, for the majority of Norn Irish men, the most attractive part of the female body is legs (71 per cent having eyes for the thighs, 22 per cent being -- ahem -- moo-ved by the calves).

Yes, perhaps a bit of a sexist survey, but on this occasion all I can say is sod PC feminism, hallelujah! I knew our wee Province's fellas were a cut above the rest.

You see, I've always thought that legs were the corporal connoisseur's choice. Any Thomasina, Flic or Harriet can have perfect boobs these days, but there ain't much you can do in the leglengthening department. Us lankies are, naturally, few and far between.

Men have spent way too long talking to our chests, which -- for someone who is not overly endowed in that department -- has been somewhat irritating (not to mention confusing).

But now, chests are out (so to speak), legs are in and I am a happy bunny. Especially since (in compensation for the boob deficiency) my Guardian Angel very kindly blessed me with 36 inch pins. Think Rachel Hunter or Naomi Campbell and you get the picture.

Which leads me to my next glad tidings.

Did you know that it is possible to interact with angels? Yep, the little winged blighters seem to have finally caught up with the technological age. Apparently you can now call them up for a wee tete-a-tete at the premium rate of diddly squat (Heavenly Telecom Inc must have a wicked marketing department - I bet Orange, O2, Vodafone, et al, didn't even see that one coming!)

This revelation comes courtesy of the very aptly titled Dr. Virtue (apparently her real name, although the fact that her forename is a very un-ethereal Doreen and she has written a book called The Yo-Yo Diet Syndrome kind of detracted from the mysticism for me)...