I'm so excited that we have a new Pope. Having been raised, myself, in the Holy Roman Catholic Church, I know, better than most, the dangers that can beset the world in those darksome days when there is no Pope at all. Why, for such a situation to continue would be like having no Dalai Lama. The entire publishing industry might fail overnight -- His Holiness the DL currently accounting for some 42% of all books produced in the Free World. Catholics are not so prolific. When it comes to publishing, that is. In other respects, prolific isn't the half of it. Bunnies come to mind. Where would South America or India be without the guidance and unfailing injunction of the Holy Father to go forth and multiply?

True, there have been some bad Popes. There's always one bad apple that spoils the whole bushel. But fortunately, this is rare. Usually, you can tell the bad ones by the size of their noses, as the picture above right demonstrates. This is where the Italian folktale Pinocchio originated, as explained by Nobel Laureate Italo Calvino, one of most pious and devoted of Catholic authors. Another way you can tell is by their real names. The new Pope is named Ratzinger, so I guess we can all breathe easy.