by Sri Ravi Olee

This is one of those posts that could get too long real fast. Actually, it already has. The file I'm writing into as we speak, so to speak, is crammed to overflowing with more weirditude than I can in good conscience unload on you all at once. It would rend the very fabric of space and time. Speaking of which, since I started this piece with the paragraph immediately following, I want to say at the outset that what prompted all this is a mind-boggling event about to take place starting today right here in beautiful downtown Boulder, Colorado -- currently covered in unseasonable snow -- that is just too rich not to share. I refer, of course, to the

But first I thought we could use some background on one of the contributors...

"Understanding the fact that we are essentially water is the key to uncovering the mysteries of the universe." So begins The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto, or simply Emo to his many fans worldwide. Currently ranked #58 on Amazon, the book describes itself as:

...an eye-opening theory showing how water is deeply connected to people's individual and collective consciousness.... Emoto describes the ability of water to absorb, hold, and even retransmit human feelings and emotions. ...he found that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed toward it. Music, visual images, words written on paper, and photographs also have an impact on the crystal structure. Emoto theorizes that since water has the ability to receive a wide range of frequencies, it can also reflect the universe in this manner. He found that water from clear springs and water exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns, while polluted water and water exposed to negative thoughts forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors.

you've got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning 'round I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so...

One of the Amazon one-star reviews of Hidden MSG in H2O (btw, highly recommended) states: "I first became aware of Dr. Emoto's claims through the subway scene in the movie What the BLEEP Do We Know!?"

A good friend, knowing my research agenda, suggested that I see this film when it first came out. But did I listen? Of course not. So now I'm having to play ketchup-with-the-kulchur. I go to the movie's Amazon page and find this: Number of Reviews: 243. Number of one-star reviews: 96. In one of the latter, titled American Illuminati and posted just a few days ago, one Ynez of San Pablo, CO (yay!), writes:

Beware, this dvd is an indoctrination primer to get you more susceptible to the teachings of Ramtha, a perversion of the hindu Rama, channeled by JZ Knight. This is old-school brain rewiring courtesy of the Anunnaki lizard people. They are attempting to gain more mainstream acceptance through the greatest medium this side of Network Television, namely. . .The movies. The Ramtha School of Enlightenment have been a monetary shill group for the Anunnaki for over 25 years, almost exposed for their attempts to infiltrate the FAA in the 90's.

Without this reference, I might have missed the whole Anunnaki lizard thing. And that would have been a pity. A page devoted to Looney Tunes Whackjob Supreme, David Icke, states: "David Icke believes that the plant Earth is ruled, for the most part, by Anunnaki lizards from the fourth dimension." For the most part. Whew! That means there's still hope. One commenter there says all this is reminiscent of Scientology's Big Secret. I dunno. You be the judge. But don't miss that page; it's a doozie.

Aside from all the high hilarity surrounding this dumbass movie -- and book and poster and myriad CDs -- the following biographical entry from the What the Fuck Do They Know participants page makes me want to retch. I swear by the Great God Pan, one more invocation of Jungian bogosity by one more of these collectively unconscious psychopompous charlatans and I'm going to write a book on them!

Jeffrey Satinover, M.D. (psychiatry), (www.satinover.com)
Dr. Satinover is past president of the C.G. Jung Foundation of New York, a former Fellow in Psychiatry and Child Psychiatry at Yale University and William James Lecturer in Psychology and Religion at Harvard University. He is the author of the chapter on Jungian psychotherapy in the just-released Encyclopedia of Psychotherapy (Academic Press). He speaks widely on matters of public and educational policy and also on the interface of science and religion. He is one of three co-authors of a program of rigorous educational reforms that were adopted by the San Diego Independent School District, the nation's sixth largest. He has been asked on a number of occasions to consult to Congress and to prepare Supreme Court amici briefs.

You can read about all the other scam artists who put this thing together on the "official" What the Bleep Do We Know!? listmania list, the movie promo page, and naturally, at the "official" site itself: greatmystery.org. The real Great Mystery is how this movie managed to gross 11 million box-office bucks (a nation of very stupid sheep, I'm guessing). Only deepening the mystery further, Des Moines Register film critic Jeffrey Bruner supplies this verbatim quote from the movie:

"What I thought was unreal now for me seems in some ways to be more real than what I think to be real, which seems now more to be unreal," says physicist Fred Alan Wolf.

Dear God. OK, that's about all I can take myself, so let's wrap this puppy up with a review from The Fresno Bee...

from: Just like late nights at the dorm 'Bleep' is a high-IQ ramble to nowhere by Rick Bentley
source: The Fresno Bee, 17 September 2004
via: HighBeam™ Research

...someone should have reminded the filmmakers that not everyone seeing this film will have an advanced college degree in physics...

The other problem is the discussion is presented by a series of talking heads. Their names and credentials are not revealed until the final credits.

If an audience is expected to accept that these radical concepts are based in some sort of scientific fact, then it is imperative to lay out immediately who the players are.

Information presented by those who have their doctorates and those who seem one vision away from wearing aluminum hats has to be weighed in a completely different manner.

Of course, if you believe this film, none of that matters.

There is one major flaw in the film's theory that all realities exist at once. If that were true, then there would be at least one reality where this writer is giving a positive review of this movie.

You can bet your bleep that is never going to happen.