It takes longer than you might think to build these things. And build is the operative word. On this particular blog, anyway, the entries aren't just entirely off the top of my head. Sure, there's the usual recombinant free-associating streams of consciousness going off in all directions at once, the trademarked Illusion of Confusion™ whereby I convince you that I've totally lost track of what I'm talking about, but then I come back at the end and tie up all the loose threads and blow your mind out the other side of your head. But because this technique, if applied too often, becomes predictable, and you'd guess too easily that that's what I'm up to, I sometime have to vary my approach, seeming to go off in all directions at once -- but in these cases never coming back.

This is intentional.

And this could well be one of those times, so pay close attention. Note that I have nothing up my sleeves. My fingers never leave my hands.

But to backtrack a bit, the point of mentioning blog-item build-time is that between the sentences and editing commands -- between the buttons, you could say -- are many many checks of how the HTML and images are laying out. Will the screed fit the page? Is the grafik too wide for the column? Etc. A million little things to consider. So before you ever see the final product, be assured that I've seen it about 600 times.

Thus it was, in building the item below, that I become indelibly imprinted on the image of Doreen Virtue. I now see her in my sleep, in waking fantasies, in supermarket aisles and the checkout counter at the adult video store. That image has burned itself into my brain. And the more I looked at it, the more I thought how much she'd look at home at a conservative party fund raiser. Page down, look again. Am I right, dude? I mean, am I right? Here, she looks a bit more like a solid citizen family-values soccer mom, but that fits too. The point is that while much of the spookiness surrounding new age trips is left-leaning into darker and more questionable areas such drug-assisted shamanism, sorcery, and full-out satanic moon-barkery, angelism is basically your squeaky clean whiter-than-white... wait for it... yes that's right: Wicca for Republicans.

Of course, this is only a working hypothesis. At this point. More research is needed into the demographics of Connecticut socialites entertaining angelic choirs at high tea on the veranda. It's an established fact that Salem today is solidly in the sticky wiccan court. But that Massachusetts. They vote for weirdos there anyway. And I have to say Boulder is evenly split. Half the whackjobs here go for the dark path -- Tibetan sex magick, South American "vision herbals," that sort of thing. The other half is retrofitting traditional mainstream Judeo-Christian beliefs to accommodate both angel communications and the DSM-IV, in which the criteria for diagnosing Schizophrenia must contain two of five so-called Criteria A symptoms. However, these five are followed by a note that states: "Only one Criteria A symptom is required if delusions are bizarre or hallucinations consist of a voice keeping up a running commentary on the person's behavior or thoughts, or two or more voices conversing with each other." [emphasis mine]

But don't take my word for it. Here's Doreen Virtue from her book Archangels & Ascended Masters: A Guide to Working and Healing With Divinities and Deities:

"Krishna loves to connect with people through the offering of, and blessing of food. Prior to eating something, look at the food and mentally call upon Krishna. Tell him that the food is your offering to him. As he accepts your gift, he will bless and purify the food with his highly spirtualized energy. Thank him, and then completely ingest his blessings by eating the food slowly, enjoying each bite completely. Have a mental conversation with him while you're eating this food. You'll notice that the experience is like being with a very wise dining companion who offers you stellar wisdom and sage advice." [p. 104 - emphasis mine]

For a slightly different take, you might try this book:

But let's let Doreen have the last word, shall we?

To get help from these heavenly guardians, Virtue suggests these steps: Trust that your angels are all around you, even if you cannot hear or see them. Make specific requests, since angels will only interfere uninvited in life-threatening situations. Don't be afraid that you are unworthy or your request too menial, since angels are willing to help (find a soulmate, spark sex, get a taxi, secure a manicurist appointment) without judgment.

from: FITNESS FILE / SEX / Q & A by Dr. Judy Kuriansky, clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist
source: Newsday, 16 July 2000
via: HighBeam Research