In this case, The Boston Herald, from four years ago. Angels sing, in this case, from more books than you can count without taking your shoes off by one Doreen Virtue -- yes, she says, that's her real name -- whom Robin and I were just sitting around fulminating about.

Despite their association with Christian tradition, "angels cross all religious divides," said Doreen Virtue, author of three books about angels, including Divine Guidance - How to Have a Dialogue with God and Your Guardian Angels. "They play a role in Eastern, Western, ancient and modern religious beliefs. Angels are a part of the Christmas story and they haven't disappeared," Virtue said. "They are still here and new angels are constantly being created."

from: Angelic beauty; Heavenly creatures add delight to the holidays
by Azell Murphy Cavaan
source: The Boston Herald, 25 December 2000
via: HighBeam Research
Copyright © 2000 Boston Herald

On the cover of the book Doreen's PR angels were flogging back in 2000, famous author Neale Donald Walsch (Conversations with God) blurbs: "I have always emphasized that God communicates with all of us, and Doreen Virtue teaches clear and understandable steps that enable everyone to have conversations with God."

If memory serves, another book that came out the same year began: "Markets are conversations." This now-infamous dictum of blogpal-cum-coauthor Doc Searls serves as a good introduction to these yuletide ruminations on the angel market -- which in brief, is currently booming.

Amazon.com returns 119,701 hits for "angels," including a fairly new book (September 2004) you might not have heard about yet -- Angel Cats: Divine Messengers of Comfort -- as well as one you most probably have (i.e., heard about, or own; either reading works): Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. Let me say right here that Mr. Brown, better known for his megamonster hit The Da Vinci Code, is one of the worst writers I've ever had the misfortune to have read. And I mean the very worst: deficient, substandard, inferior, pessimal, picayune, piffling, bantam-weight, lilliputian. You would think that to write a book like this would be to meet one's Waterloo.

But no-o-o-o. You would be wrong in that surmise. Published March 18, 2003, The Da Vinci code is still today the #3 bestseller on Amazon. The book has generated intense debate among academic historians and ecclesiastical scholars worldwide, which of course has led to a lucrative movie deal.

Hollywood s'active aussi. Ayant arraché les droits de "Da Vinci Code" pour six millions de dollars, les studios Columbia Pictures (Sony) ont chargé Ron Howard ("Un homme d'exception") du tournage qui devrait débuter au printemps pour une sortie en mai 2006. Le très populaire Tom Hanks jouera le professeur de symbologie Robert Langdon, sorte d'Indiana Jones plongé au coeur d'un jeu de piste meurtrier, sur fond de sociétés secrètes et de symboles cachés dans les tableaux du Louvre.

from: "Da Vinci Code", le best-seller en or massif de 2004
source: Agence France Presse, 17 December 17 2004
via: HighBeam Research

OK, so I can't read French either, but I'm pretty sure I can figure out what "Le très populaire Tom Hanks" and "sorte d'Indiana Jones" mean without resorting to a dictionary. -- not to mention "six millions de dollars."

Despite the air of theological controversy that has enveloped the book, its overall effect seems to have been a massive resurgence of interest in -- and here we return to our theme -- angels. Never mind that it's not really about angels. It's about the sort of Medieval mindset in which angels have traditionally played a large role -- in places like, for instance, 12th Century France, the 14th Century Hapsburg Empire, and 21st Century Los Angeles.

But it's not all bad news out there. Christopher Moore (Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings, etc) has released a new novel especially for this joyous season. The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror, which, according to no less a light than Janet Maslin, combines "an archangel, a miracle and brain- eating zombies rising from their graves."

Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.

Pine Cove, her pseudo-Tudor architecture all tarted up in holiday quaintage...

Well, you get the general idea. Moore -- with whom I first became acquainted via his 1997 Island of the Sequined Love Nun -- has been getting better at this sort of spiritual-historical novel since his bestselling Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, which also features the same Maslin-referenced archangel: Raziel. While all this may sound horribly sacrilegious, it's really not. However, as The Stupidest Angel includes a bloodthirsty character who is a member of Pagan Vegetarians for Peace, we may, I think, safely assume that Christopher Moore has about had it up to there with all this infernal angel literature. As -- in case you couldn't tell -- have I.

And to all a good night.